Lost

It had been a horrible week. Stressed and exhausted…I was worn down by lack of sleep and a brain addled by too much second guessing and a plummeting sense of self-worth. I’ve often heard the phrase “running on empty” and by Friday of that week I felt as hollow as a cave...and just as dark and dreary.

It was my sixth straight week on the road. Week after week in a different hotel, meeting with different people and feeling further and further from my family and the warm comfort of home. I’d been doing this kind of travelling for a long time, but I’d hit a low point. I did not like myself that week. I did not like the world I was living in.

Friday morning did not feel like going home as much as it felt like escaping. I quickly packed my suitcase and duffel bag and put my laptop in my backpack. I could not get out of there fast enough.

The Twinbook Metro stop on the Red Line of the Washington Metro system is just across the street from the Rockville, Maryland Hilton. I had walked out the back of that hotel many times in the last ten years and rolled my bags the hundred or so yards to the Metro entrance. From that Metro station it is normally a 45 minute train ride (with a change from the Red to Yellow line) to the Reagan National Airport. I could do it in my sleep.

When I reached the platform, I expected to check the monitor and see that a train would arrive in the next three to five minutes, but that was not the case. The monitor listed the next train arriving in 9 minutes. 9 minutes is an eternity on a train platform…at least when you are desperately ready to go home.

I found a piece of wall and leaned against it, dropping my backpack to the ground and pulling my suitcase and duffel close against me. It was 11:30am and my flight was scheduled to start boarding at 1:10pm. I should still be fine, I thought. As long as I’m there by 12:30.

I didn’t check my watch, but it seemed much longer than nine minutes when the train finally rolled to a stop in front of me. I recalled the previous week when I had missed a train because I politely stood back and let others board in front of me. The doors had closed and left me on that platform feeling charitable, but also slightly foolish. I did not have time for either on this day. I grabbed the handle of my suitcase and hurried through the open doors of the train.

Oddly, for being so far outside of the city, the train car was already nearly full. With my large bag hindering me, I was forced to stand in the space near the door. I thought of the long, swaying ride ahead of me and that little voice in my head that loves to make things worse whispered, “you know that you will probably get motion sick.”

At the next stop I moved back to make room for the half dozen or so new passengers who squeezed their way into the car. As the door closed I looked down at my suitcase and suddenly had the uneasy feeling that something wasn’t right. I took a quick inventory and immediately realized that I was missing my backpack.

My brain was tired, but it put the pieces together anyway. I had left my backpack leaning against the wall on the Twinbrook Metro station. I was in such a hurry to get on the train that I did not stoop to pick it up. I felt like I had been punched in the stomach.

I turned pale with panic and beads of sweat popped up on my brow. Inside my backpack was my personal laptop, with family photos, videos, slideshows and attempts at writing. I tried to remember when I had last done a back up and wondered what had been lost forever. It was gone, many internal voices were telling me, and it was my own stupid fault.

A few minutes later we pulled into the next station. I staggered off, probably looking like a wild-eyed lunatic to anyone nearby. I quickly devised a plan of returning to the Twinbrook station while simultaneously assuring myself that it was pointless. Too many people come and go in those stations, I told myself. The backpack was gone.

According to the monitor, the next train heading back the way I had come was due into the station in three minutes. I started pacing, pulling my heavy bag behind me and muttering words like “idiot” and “moron.”

There were not many people on the platform, which was fortunate, but I did notice one young man who was looking my way with some concern. I thought at first that he might call security but instead he approached me and asked, “Is there something wrong?”

I told him my tale of woe and regret and he calmly listened. I’m not sure how much sense I was making because my breaths and words were choppy, my lungs felt like they had been reduced to the size of golf balls. Being rather cynical about human nature in general, I was surprised at his look of sincere concern. I was even more surprised by what he said next.

“It will be okay. I’m going to pray that it all works out.”

I meet a lot of people when I travel. Most do not inspire confidence. It’s not that they are bad people, but it’s exceptionally rare to meet someone who offers genuine compassion. Most of us put up walls in public. We wear masks to hide ourselves from others. We don’t want to get involved in someone else’s problems.

The train arrived and the young man followed me onboard. He started asking me about my life; where I was from and what I did for a living. He asked about my family and we learned that we had both grown up near Louisville, Ky. As I answered his questions, I felt my breathing returning to something that resembled normal. The pounding in my chest began to ease and the screaming in my brain calmed down.

He apologized when we reached the next stop, saying that he had to exit but wished he could stay and find out what happened to my bag. We shook hands and I thanked him, telling him that I appreciated his efforts to calm me down and regain my senses. He turned back just before he stepped out the door and said loudly, “I’ll keep praying…it will be alright!”

I sat down and thought about what he said. It would be alright. The laptop was almost certainly gone, but it was just a thing. It was frustrating and I knew that I would spend many hours wondering what exactly I had lost since the last backup, but it would be alright. People go through much worse.

We arrived at the Twinbrook station and I stepped out into the cool crisp air. I took a deep breath and made my way down the platform toward the wall where I had been leaning. I checked the time and confirmed that I had been gone for nineteen minutes. I whispered a little prayer, “God, please let it be there.”

I turned the corner and there was nothing but empty wall and empty floor. The bag was gone. I was disappointed, but not surprised.

I glanced around to see if it had been moved or if by chance someone was carrying it, but it was simply not there. I debated my options. It was past noon now, and my time to get to my flight was getting tight. If a train came soon, I could still make it. However, if there was any chance of finding my laptop bag, I felt I should risk it. There was always another flight back to Knoxville.

I decided that it was worth the time to check with the Station Manager, just in case there was a Good Samaritan on the platform that day. I have to admit, my confidence level was low. I have a tendency to live in worse case scenarios, so I was fairly certain that my effort was pointless.

Inside his glass booth, the manager was on the phone, so I waited. It didn’t sound like a business conversation, but I didn’t interrupt. It’s not that I was overly patient at the time, but I didn’t mind prolonging the bad news.

When he hung up the phone, I knocked on the glass and he opened the door with a frown. “Can I help you?”

I stammered a bit and finally spit out, “Did anyone turn in a black backpack?”

He looked at me suspiciously and said, “What’s in it?”

I exploded with a list of contents like a kid giving his Christmas list to Santa, “A blue Acer 17 inch laptop, a cell phone charger, a USAToday newspaper, four black thumb drives, a set of keys on a blue metal key-ring, a bottle of motion sick pills…”

He held up his hand to stop me. “I guess this is yours then.” He reached under his desk and pulled out my backpack. I nearly cried.

I thanked him about five times and said that I wished I knew who turned it in so I could thank them too. He said it was a Metro staff person, so I asked him to please offer my sincere appreciation to that worker. I walked away feeling twenty pounds lighter, despite the weight of my twelve pound bag once again hanging on my shoulder.

It was too late to catch the train. If I had a chance to make my flight, I had to get a taxi. I grabbed my bags and ran back across the street to the hotel. I made my way to the lobby and out the front where cabs were always waiting. Except that day.

I was almost resolved to miss my flight when I saw one of the black sedans from the Limousine service pull up to the front. As soon as the driver finished helping their passenger with their bags and received his payment, I grabbed him. “Can you take me to the airport RIGHT NOW?”

He looked at me slightly confused, but I am very used to getting that expression from people. I explained further, “My plane starts boarding in forty minutes, can you get me there?”

He nodded and said, “Thirty minutes…unless we have traffic.”

I threw my suitcase and duffel bag in the trunk and hugged my backpack close against me as I settled into the backseat of his comfortable Lincoln sedan. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. Whether I made the flight or not, I could relax for a while.

My mind raced through the events of the morning but stopped on the young man I had met on the platform. I wished that I had gotten his e-mail so I could thank him again and let him know that his prayers had been answered. I also wished I could introduce him to my oldest daughter.

It struck me that despite my own best efforts to ruin my day; I had been sent some guardian angels. The young man calmed me down when I was ready to lay down on the tracks…and the station workers did the right thing, reminding me that the better part of human nature actually is honest. These people not only helped me that day with a lost backpack, they helped soften an increasingly cynical heart, which truly is a miracle. I had much to be grateful for.



***In case you’re wondering…yes, I did make my flight, but not without a few more hoops to jump through. By that point, I was taking it all in stride. Things that would have frustrated me before just gave me a chuckle. All it takes sometimes is a slight adjustment in your perspective.