A guy's answer to all the worlds problems...

I read this morning that women’s groups in Kenya are organizing protests to halt the spread of violence, war, or something very terrible happening in their country. I suppose I should have paid more attention to the cause, but I was too fascinated by the course of action they planned to take. The article stated that their plan is to withhold sex from their men for one week. They hope to involve the Prime Minister and other leader’s wives also to make a serious impact.

I appreciate their zeal, and I’m all for stopping violence, war, and terrible things, however, I believe that their efforts are going to be wasted and the plan is doomed to failure. The reasons for this are simple, because men are relatively simple creatures. The fact that these women do not understand this proves that women everywhere tend to over-complicate things.

Now, I know that there are obvious cultural differences between Kenya and America, and marriage might have a different set of expectations in one country that is not adhered to in another, but on certain physical and philosophical principles, most men are the same. In America, the threat of withholding sex for one week would seem ridiculous. Using the term “withholding” implies that there must be regular sex occurring between two people to withhold, therefore you could conclude that, in general, the couple is in a steady relationship or married.

I think everyone would agree that the early part of any relationship has a much higher frequency of sex than the years farther in. Again, there are no absolutes, and some couples may still keep pace with their Newlywed days even twenty five years into a marriage, but they would be the exception, not the rule. I’m not sure about the leaders or decision makers in Kenya, but if I look at the branches of government in the United States, it appears that most of the men are married and have been married for a good, long while. Based on general, but likely accurate assumptions about declining sex frequency between married couples, would it really put a hurt on a man to deprive him of sex for one week? I think the average American married male could manage a week without sex easier than a week without ESPN. Sorry ladies, but you’d have to do a lot better than that.

Also, the notion that lack of sex will make a man less prone to violence is not just wrong, but potentially dangerous. Most crazed killers these days, the ones who take a bag of semi-automatics into a crowded building, are typically described later by family and friends as “loners.” Maybe if they were in a stable relationship with regular sex, they wouldn’t have had so much pent up frustration? Probably not, because crazy is still going to be crazy, but it does make me wonder.

No, I believe the women are going about this all wrong. They should be doing the exact opposite. Rather than depriving men of sex, they should be exhausting them with it. A tired man isn’t going to have the energy to start a fight. How many wars could have been avoided if men stayed at home…too happy, too busy and too tired to care about borders and religious differences?

I can see the eyes rolling now. You are thinking: this man obviously has an agenda. Sorry to disappoint, but I’m just using logic. Besides, I didn’t start this discussion, the women in Kenya did. It’s a simple idea, and one that women the world over should contemplate if they are serious about slowing the spread of violence. Start your man’s day off with some sex, followed by a turkey sandwich. He’ll be as docile as a baby kitten. It’s hard to start a war when you’re napping.