The "Me First" Attitude

I see this a lot at the airport. Our plane arrives and the pilot turns off the fasten seatbelt sign, which is our “one and only signal that we may stand.” General, unspoken protocol is that the first seats empty out, right to left, with those seated in the rear patiently waiting their turn to exit. Normally, the process works smoothly, but occasionally there is a troublemaker. They are usually wearing a suit, talking on their cell phone and pushing their way to the front as if they are late for court. Once the process has been disturbed, anarchy takes hold and everyone from the rear of the plane surges forward. It’s very good that guns are not allowed on airplanes.

At Reagan National Airport in DC, many of the USAir flights arrive at a herding area because there aren’t enough gates to accommodate them all. Transportation to and from the terminal is handled by shuttle bus. Each and every time, whether going out to the plane or coming back, I am astounded by the illogic of the “me first” people. The first eight or ten people to get on the shuttle (unless one of them is me) fill up the first seats and rows. Two by two, they sit across the aisles, leaving a narrow passage between them for everyone else to pass. As you squeeze through, they look up at you in exasperation and bewilderment, as if wondering what you are doing on their bus. It never seems to hit them that we are all going to the same place and the plane will not take off until we are all on board and seated. They don’t care. They got the front seats! There must be a prize that I don’t know about.

Another example of “me first” occurs at the Baggage Claim, and unfortunately, I see it every single time I travel. Like kids waiting for a piñata to explode, travelers gather around the carousel with breathless anticipation. They cluster at the conveyor as if they have received a text message alerting them that their bag is arriving first. It drives me crazy. I want to grab a bull horn and give them a quick lesson in common sense bag retrieval. If everyone stood back about five feet, then calmly stepped forward to get their bag when it arrives, the rest of us wouldn’t have to wait until our bag has circled the carousel three times to go home to our families.

General selfishness and lack of courtesy seem to be a growing trend. It appears that everyone is in a hurry and wherever they have to go is more important than where I do. I get pushed past on the street, on escalators, through doors. I have people push past me to enter elevators, as if their early entry will help them reach their destination before me. This is almost never the case, because once they’ve chosen their floor, I enjoy accidentally hitting all the other floors prior to it. “Oh, that’s not it,” I say, and hit another. “Oh darn, I think it’s twelve.” I consider it a public service.

I try to be a gentleman, but the “me first” phenomenon can cause that to backfire. My family arrived at a restaurant last week and as usual, I held the door. After my girls entered, I noticed another group arriving and I held the door for them as well. Suddenly I was trapped as a steady stream of people arrived and walked past. I looked down once to see if I was wearing what appeared to be a doorman uniform, because no one really acknowledged me and never once was there an offer to let me enter. I tried to break in a few times and got looks that translated into “how rude!” and “you’ve got some nerve!” When I finally arrived at our table, sometime after dark, my family was just finishing dessert and the server was handing me the check.

I’ve noticed the greatest change at the grocery store. Not so long ago you could walk up to the checkout lane and if you had less than five items in your hands, someone would wave you in front of them. Now they stare straight ahead, ignoring any eye contact, leaving you with your can of baby formula and diapers to fend for yourself. They will rationalize that you can use the “self-checkout” but when did we start rationalizing common decency?

We are all in too big a hurry. I set a goal at the beginning of this year to “saunter” more. I wanted to slow down and enjoy the change of the seasons. Now it’s mid-May and I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve stood still outside long enough to feel a breeze. We are rushing through life, wishing our days away by looking forward to something around the corner, tomorrow or next week. We don’t take the time to enjoy where we are right now because we are so sure what’s ahead is so much better. Even if we don’t know where we are going, we can’t wait to get there, and more than anything, we have to get there first.