Barking at the Moon

I used to have a poster hanging in my office that said “just because you’re paranoid, doesn’t mean they’re not out to get you.” I’m not sure what happened to it. I’m pretty sure someone stole it. I can’t prove that, because whoever did it was likely a professional. They left no trace. That’s how they work.

I have always been intrigued by conspiracies. Even before I stood behind the wooden fence on the grassy knoll in Dallas or strolled through the infamous seventh floor of the book Depository building, I knew that Lee Harvey Oswald did not act alone. In fact, I was fairly confident that he might not have been involved at all. The Warren Commission report was one of the great lies ever foisted upon the American public. But certainly not the only one.

Rich and powerful men have twisted and distorted information since the beginning of civilization. Whether to protect those whom they don’t feel are intelligent enough to handle the truth, or more likely to promote some nefarious plan to increase their wealth and/or power, they use all of their means to keep us in a dark, ignorant place.

What exactly (and we all have the right to ask), is in Area 51? Who are the “committee of 300” and the “Skull and Bones Society?” What secrets do the Freemasons hold, and why do they hold them? How many licks DOES it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop? Enquiring minds want to know.

Regardless of the political party, those who run for office or maintain positions of power in our government are, without fail, members of the “haves” and definitely not the “have nots.” To get to those lofty heights, you have to know someone (and not Bubba the mechanic, who lives down the road). It’s a vicious cycle that never seems to end; with our laws, fortunes and national destiny run by people who are no more common than the use of a two dollar bill. Even if they start out trying to do the right thing, by the time they have reached the point of an election, they have shaken too many hands in dark rooms and nodded approval to too many suggestions whispered over their shoulder.

But I digress….

What got me pondering this ocean of paranoia? I’m sure you are dying to know. It’s simple…high school math.

My middle daughter was deep in thought, hunched over her sophomore Algebra 2/Trigonometry book, and as I walked past, she asked if I could look at one of the problems. (I’ll pause here to explain that math is not one of my strong suits. I do fairly well at addition, subtraction, multiplication and division…but when it gets to algebra, I generally say, “I’ll never use that.” I said that in high school and college, and unlike most things I thought back then, it has turned out to be true. I have yet to run into a single situation in my adult life where algebra has been required to survive. In fact, I’ve never had anyone ask me to figure out what X is.)

Anyway…she shows me the problem and there’s a series of equations with both an x and an i in place of numbers. “What does the “i” mean?” I ask.

“That’s an “imaginary number.”

“Isn’t “X” an imaginary number?”

“No, “X” is a real number.”

This went against my internal logic. “Then why isn’t it actually a number? If it’s a letter and not a number, then isn’t it imaginary too? And why don’t you just make up an answer? Say the answer is “J.” Tell the teacher you made up an imaginary answer.”

She looked at me with the sad expression of a kid who suddenly remembers that their father is an idiot. She dropped her head back to her studies and said, “You know Dad, I’ll figure it out.”

So once again, I’ve failed one of my children. That’s not uncommon. Nor is it my point. The purpose of this little diatribe is that there are people who create things only to make other people feel stupid. It’s just another conspiracy. I mean, seriously, why do we need “imaginary” numbers? I have no doubt that Rafael Bombelli, the perpetrator of this ridiculous scam, was probably a Freemason.

We’ve put a lot of faith in smart people, but I have to wonder, is there a possibility that they are only considered smart because they tell us they are? Our world becomes increasingly complex as eggheads and scientists try to explain how things work. Most of us stop trying to understand after a while and simply say, “Whatever…you guys deal with that.” Consider how a magician puts on a cape and a tall hat and performs an illusion…amazing the audience with a simple sleight of hand primarily because he is dressed for the part.

I was at a conference a few years back where a renowned scientist spoke. He had been working on a theory for nearly forty years. (Read that again and let it sink in). He has been performing government funded research for four decades (practically my entire life) and admits that he has not resolved or proven anything. After he spoke, he gleefully showed photos of his new yacht to colleagues and boasted of his impending retirement. Even more frightening than that was the fact that four other (younger) scientists spoke at the same conference about their research based upon his “unproven” theory!

I’m sure that the obvious response from those who support him would be that I am simply not smart enough to understand the research. My feeble mind cannot comprehend the importance and significance of his work. My answer to that would be that after 40 years of no proof or practical application to whatever his theory is, he obviously doesn’t understand it either.

So, yeah…I guess I am paranoid. I see conspiracies in unanswered questions. I find malice in double talk. I don’t trust people in authority who don’t explain or justify their decisions. I’m pretty sure Big Brother is always watching…even crazy bloggers who like to bark at the moon. I should probably be more careful.