With a Rebel Yell

It seems like I gripe all the time, considering my blogging about pet peeves and what’s wrong with this or that, but I don’t think of myself as a negative person. My family gets frustrated with me because I call a lot of people “idiots,” particularly while driving, and that may well be true, but I’m not prone to road rage or anything like that, I just don’t like sharing the road with people who do not follow the rules.

I’m big on rules, which is not a sexy attribute. It’s boring to follow the rules. Safe is not very attractive.

I’ll never forget one date when I was in college. This girl and I had gone out three or four times at this point, nothing serious, but I thought the appropriate thing to do was buy her a gift; a token of my feelings for her. At the end of the date, I gave her the gift (a small music box, I think, which may have had something to do with her response). She smiled and thanked me, then said, “You’re a nice guy, Bruce…but I’m not looking for a nice guy.”

That could have been a life changing moment. I could have gone out the next day and traded in my Chevy Caprice Classic for a Camero, and my windbreaker for something in black leather. I could have, but that still would not have changed who I am. I would have still been a nerd driving a fast car that he never pushed more than 8 miles over the speed limit. I could have worn the clothes and driven the car, but I would never have been the dangerous type.

In every generation, the more stylish and hip characters are always “rebels.” They don’t need anything or anybody, they are just altogether cool. James Dean could have stood in the maternity ward of a hospital; smoking and spilling ash over twelve crying newborns and women would have still swooned and said, “He’s so amazing.” Guys would just shake their heads and say, “I wanna be like him.”

The romantic allure of the rebel makes a lot of people want to be one. They believe that simply breaking the rules makes them a “rebel.” They have read just enough of the constitution to believe they have the “right” do anything they want, just as our founding fathers must have intended. It is a "Free Country"after all.

Of course, there is definitely a time and place for rebels. We need them or there would never be change. Without rebels, we’d still be under British rule, so I’m not downplaying the need for rebels. I just think they need a “cause.”

I believe a lot of people who think they are rebels are actually just idiots. They believe that normal rules do not apply to them, which is not what it means to be a rebel. Rebellion is only justified when there is a sense of unfairness occurring.

Here are some of my personal classifications on whether a person’s actions are worthy to be classified as a “rebel:”

• Overturning a brutal dictatorship…rebel.

• Breaking in line at the movie theater…idiot.

• Marching for peace during a questionable war…rebel.

• Parking in a handicapped space even though you’re healthy…idiot.

• Rosa Parks refusing to sit in the back of the bus…rebel.

• Wearing your pants so low that your underwear is showing…idiot.

True rebels are those who use their words or actions to point out a fault in authority or in established norms. Idiots do what they want because they are selfish and don’t care how their actions affect others. I have a low tolerance for idiots.

Weekday mornings when I am in town, I take two of my daughters to school. At the middle school where my youngest attends, there is a large, one way loop that is always crowded with minivans and hurried parents. Most of us behave. We follow the clearly marked signs to stay in the right hand lane for dropping off and picking up. The lines may get long, but if everyone follows the rules, it moves pretty quickly.

But not everyone follows the rules. Multiple signs state that the left lane is for through traffic only. Teachers use it to get around the line to their parking area. It’s fairly clear that it is not to be used for dropping off. Still, that empty lane is just too enticing for some folks. They cut into that lane and speed past the rest of us, dutifully waiting our turn. Once they get to the front of the line, they have two choices. They can either drop their kid in the middle of the road to play Frogger in real traffic while carrying a thirty pound backpack and a beat up violin case (and there are more signs on the left hand side of the road forbidding that), or they can attempt to cut in line. Either choice slows the flow of traffic and causes delays for everyone.

It’s a rare morning as I wait in that line that I don’t find it necessary to mutter the word “idiot.” Someone, usually several, will invariably break the rules, apparently because they are in a much bigger hurry and are much more important than the rest of us. I comment on this behavior to my kids because I want them to learn that it is wrong. I feel that it is my responsibility as a parent to teach.

My wife believes I am only teaching them to call people “idiots,” but I believe that she has countered that well by rolling her eyes and sighing heavily whenever I say it in her presence. I hope I have taught them that you should stand up for what you believe in, but not to push others around just to get your way. Following the rules is really about having respect for others. It’s about treating others as you would have them treat you. And that’s a pretty good rule to live by.