Pet Peeves 3.0

Here is my first list of Pet Peeves for 2010. I would like to say that there won’t be any more this year, but I’m not feeling very optimistic.

“HE WENT TO JARED.”
Yeah, I don’t care. This jewelry store commercial has so annoyed me that I wouldn’t get a ring there if there were no other ring stores and Jared was giving them away free.

PEPSI
More and more restaurants and hotels have changed over to carrying “Pepsi” rather than “Coke.” Apparently, Pepsi cuts a much better deal which promises bigger profits. This would be a sound business decision if people accepted the change in taste and didn’t say, “never mind I’d rather have water.” I’m sorry, but when I am asked what I want to drink and I say, “Coke,” the response of “will Pepsi be okay?” makes me angry. If they want to provide only fake cola, then my response from now on will be, “Sure, can I pay with monopoly money?”

FASHION EXPERTS
Who do these people think they are? More importantly, why in the world would anyone listen to them? After every awards show or celebrity event, this panel of arrogant, self-imposed masters of beauty and elegance deconstruct and belittle others with a cruelty and cold blooded viciousness usually reserved for a middle-school girls locker room. I will admit to sitting in my comfy recliner and having a good giggle fit over some of the ridiculous outfits stars wear, but I would never laugh in their face. That would not be right. Somewhere under all that plastic surgery and sequins, those celebrities have feelings too.


FAKE CELEBRITIES
I don’t’ mind people who have actually accomplished something being on the cover of People magazine or being discussed on the morning news, but I’d like to put some rules and limits on who gets their 15 minutes of fame and why. Being an idiot should not entitle someone to money or fame. The “Octomom” and her frightening lips continue to plague us, while a group of cretins from the New Jersey shore might make even Billy Graham begin to wonder if Darwin was on to something. I also don’t know where “Heidi and Spencer” came from, or what they supposedly did to get their names in the news, but I’d like to mark them all “return to sender” and get them off the cultural radar. They are an embarrassment to the human race.

HARD BUTTER
Why do restaurants seemingly store their butter packets in the freezer? There’s nothing worse than getting some nice hot bread or biscuits delivered to your table and then being offered cold little yellow bricks that tear and rend rather than spread and melt. Very frustrating.

SAMPLERS
No, I’m not talking about “appetizer samplers” (those are AWESOME). I’m talking about musicians who do not have the talent or ability to write their own music, but instead steal from others. Sadly, many young people, hearing these words or melodies for the first time, think that these “non-artists” are brilliant. They are not. With rare exception (like Kid Rock’s “Summertime”), these songs are neither a homage nor a tribute. They are cheap forgeries by people who can’t conjure an original thought on their own.

PRECIOUS: BASED ON THE NOVEL “PUSH” BY SAPPHIRE
If you have heard of this Academy Award nominated film, you should know that I’m not hating on the movie itself. It sounds like a great film about a very serious subject (child abuse), and I will probably try to see it. My issue is with the extended title. Either call it “Precious” or call it “Push.” You don’t need to declare your literary origin in the title. People who care will read about that in the credits. Besides, although we might recognize “by Jane Austin” or “by William Shakespeare,” most of us don’t have a clue who “Sapphire” is. Get over yourself. I rename you “Pretentious.”


GYM PEOPLE
I know what you’re thinking, and you’re mostly wrong. I think exercise is a wonderful and necessary thing. I genuinely wish that I enjoyed it more. My problem is with people who have a compulsion to let you know that they do it. You know the kind. They fit it into almost every conversation:
“sorry I’m late, I had to workout,”
“This yogurt is delicious…did I tell you I was at the gym this morning?”
“I wanted to attend my Uncle’s funeral, but it interfered with my spin class.”
I think there must be a course taught at the gym about “rubbing it in other people’s faces.” It’s not an attractive quality. At least not to fat people like me.

LEMONS
I enjoy a nice glass of iced tea. My preference is for sweet tea, but I can drink it with Spenda, Equal or even nothing at all. I like the taste of plain tea (not the flavored kind, thank you very much…not “peach tea” or “raspberry tea,” just plain old Lipton tea), and when I go out, that is my drink of choice. Here is my problem: most restaurants, for some reason, operate under the assumption that everyone wants “lemon” in their tea. If I wanted “lemon” flavor, I would order “lemonade.” Even more bothersome is when the server takes the time to ask if I want “lemon” in my tea, and then completely ignores my stated preference. Believe it or not, this happens nine times out of ten (and yes, I have completed an exhaustive and thorough study on this, with certified data to back it up). Yes, the only thing more frustrating than assuming that you automatically want lemon in your tea is to give you the option, repeat the choice of “no lemon,” and then spoil the lip of the glass with a sour wedge anyway.


Previous Pet Peeve Postings:

http://aimless-saunter.blogspot.com/2009/03/my-pet-peeves-part-one.html

http://aimless-saunter.blogspot.com/2009/08/another-pet-peeve.html